Authors K. Eileen Allen and Judith Starbuck  ________________

K. Eileen Allen has observed that too many old people believe they can't be happy and involved because they can no longer go about their lives as they used to. Their reasons: "I can't remember, I can't hear, I can't see, I don't have enough energy." 
  
She's working as hard as she can not to fall into that mindset. She may not be able to remember every date on her calendar (which she can't see), but she's memorized more than 40 poems since the age of 80. She can't hear in large groups, so she arranges for small-group gatherings in her cozy apartment in the Hearthstone. She has only a small amount of peripheral vision, but she listens to books on tape and draws on stored-up memories to enjoy the scenes others describe to her. She can't walk far without a walker, but that doesn't stop her from taking that walker to go the three miles around Green Lake. She's reaping the benefits of taking responsibility for her own well-being.
  
Eileen shares how she's been going about this in I Like Being Old: A Guide to Making the Most of Aging. She speaks to her millions of age mates in this country, many of whom will find the book useful because of the specifics her experiences offer: in giving up driving; in moving to a retirement community; in thriving in spite of severe vision, hearing and mobility loss; in paring down her activities; and in accepting necessary help. And many of those just entering old age will find Eileen an interesting and inspiring person. Her experiences may give them ideas for helping their aging parents, as well as for approaching their own old age.
  
Eileen wasn't always happy, and didn't always have self-confidence. The reader can follow her as she learns valuable lessons: to take responsibility for her own happiness, to accept the changes that helped her recognize new opportunities, and to enjoy her own company and the self she discovered as she had to slow down. She says she can be happy now in spite of all her losses because she focuses on what she can do instead of dwelling on what she can no longer do.
  
Eileen believes that it's possible to create a longer and happier old age by starting at a much younger age to use the tools offered in I Like Being Old. But she's adamant that "it's never too late to start, it's never too late to learn." I’m her 67-year-old co-author, and I'm starting now. I've helped Eileen write the book to get her message out to readers from my age and younger to her age and older.

Living Independently: Myth or Reality?
(Excerpted from Chapter 7 of I Like Being Old: A Guide to Making the Most of Aging)

Is independence a myth?
     
Is there any way I could function entirely on my own at my age and with my limitations? Of course not! But does that mean I relinquish all control over my life? Should I now follow all the well-meaning advice of everyone who wishes to keep me safe and secure? Should I stay inside on rainy days and keep as much money in the bank as possible, even when a family member is in trouble? I think not!
     
What is the reality? I'm certainly far from helpless. I suppose it's a question of how we define independence.

For me, independence has three dimensions. The first, and probably the most important, is doing as much for myself as I can. The second, what I think of as autonomy, is trusting myself and being trusted to make decisions about how I want to live my old age. And last, but not least, is acknowledging that to preserve as much independence as possible, I must accept the help I clearly do need.

In other words, it's important to hang onto the things we can still do, and manage our everyday lives so they reflect who we are. It's equally important to make our own decisions, before it's too late and someone else has to make the decisions for us. Then recognizing and accepting help when we need it frees us to put our remaining resources to good use.

There are so many things I can do perfectly well for myself, and yet I need help in so many ways. How do I balance accepting the help I truly need and diverting help where I feel I can manage for myself? And if I turn away help now, how do I keep lines open for the help I may need six months or two years from now? After all, my blindness and deafness aren't going to go away, nor is my old age….
     
Old age hasn't changed my commitment to the things that really matter to me. If anything, it's deepened my dedication to family, church, friends and work—all things that have sustained me for so many years. Now that I'm old, do I stop making decisions in these areas because others may know better?

No! But do I consult my children and close friends about major life decisions? Of course! And I listen closely to their advice. I even double check with them sometimes, asking, "This isn't a crazy decision, is it?"

It's becoming more and more important to make sure my choices are based on reality rather than some mythical ideal left over from what I used to be able to do.

I Like Being Old: A Guide to Making the Most of Aging, by K. Eileen Allen in collaboration with Judith R. Starbuck, can be purchased online from Amazon, Barnes & Noble or iUniverse, or ask for it in your local bookstore. For more information, visit the website www.ilikebeingold.com.