Ready or Not, Here Come the Holidays. Don't Panic!

Dan Smerken, Geriatric Care Manager

Oh boy! In the midst of plenty of stress, many of us will be visiting our elder relatives. It’s a time that is precious, bittersweet and potentially nerve-racking. These face-to-face visits afford us a good opportunity to evaluate how they’re meeting the challenges of aging.

Holiday visits are the time when many family caregivers realize that their loved one's needs have changed.

If you’ve previously had doubts about their well-being, the visits can confirm or diffuse your worries. Sometimes you can uncover a dramatic change in function, behavior, or appearance.

It’s easy to feel a sense of anxiety in observing these changes, but don’t panic. There are ways to get help quickly to assess the situation, so you can relax and enjoy this precious time with your aging relative.

Yes, there may be things you can do to help create a healthier, more positive and independent situation for your elderly loved ones. And no, you don’t have to sacrifice your life to analyze and take action.

Helpful Tips for Evaluating and Taking Steps to Help Your Mom and Dad

1. Avoid a rush decision: We gotta move Mom somewhere. Now! Unless there is imminent danger, take time to assess the problem and document your concerns. Then determine your mother’s perspective about her living situation.
   
   
2. Engage a professional geriatric care manager to perform a comprehensive geriatric assessment. If you’re concerned about your father, the care manager can meet with him to assess his health status and ability to perform daily activities. The assessment will also document his safety within the home, his appearance (i.e. hygiene), his connections with friends and neighbors (or lack thereof) and his overall mental and emotional well-being. 
   
   
3. Identify the issues of most immediate concern related to the health and safety of your loved one, and identify appropriate resources. Do they need a medical exam and/or a mental health evaluation? Do they need home-delivered meals? A friendly visitor? List the resources you feel your parent will need.
   
   
4. Enlist help from family, friends, and neighbors to carry out the most pressing needs. Ask them to spot potential problems, visit your parents regularly, monitor changes in their situation, and stay in contact with you. If friends and neighbors are not available, consider hiring a professional geriatric care manager to keep tabs on your folks and to be your local eyes and ears. Do this after you’ve returned home so you can simply enjoy the holidays with your elders.
   
   
5. If lack of financial resources makes hiring a private caregiver prohibitive, contact Senior Information and Assistance (1-888-435-3377) for information on publicly-funded or volunteer caregiver resources.

Most importantly, take action. This is the best and most enduring gift you can give someone you love…even if they are unaware of your help.

You may want to obtain a comprehensive geriatric assessment to identify needs and provide the basis for a care plan. This plan will go a long way in ensuring the health and safety of your loved one and your peace of mind. For more information about obtaining a comprehensive assessment, refer to Senior I & A for a list of care managers (above); or visit the ElderHealth Northwest Care Management website or call (206) 528-5315.