Holiday Visits May Be the Time to Discuss Home Care

For most of us, winter holidays are wrapped up with family traditions. Mom's top-secret turkey stuffing recipe and beautifully decorated table symbolize Thanksgiving. Heirloom ornaments adorn the Christmas tree. A menorah passed down through the generations is a special Chanukah symbol. Diwali lamps brought from India by elders help connect U.S.-born children with their heritage. And during Eid ul-Fitr, senior loved ones are honored during the feasting that marks the end of Ramadan.

No matter how far we have moved from home, most Americans want to spend the special winter holidays with loved ones. Busy airports overflow with travelers, and there is that special moment when we ring the doorbell to our childhood home and are greeted by the smell of baking cookies and hugs from parents and grandparents.

But for many families this year, holiday visits will include the realization that their senior loved one's condition is changing. The house isn't as spotless as Mom has always kept it. Maybe Dad—always so conscious of his personal grooming—looks as if he hasn't shaved in a few days. Or perhaps the holiday dinner is several hours late because Grandma forgot to turn on the oven.

It's hard to accept that our parents aren't as self-sufficient and strong as they once were. But we can turn that concern into action, supporting the desire of elder loved ones to be safe and healthy while preserving the greatest independence possible. While everyone is together for the holidays, this might be a good time for a family meeting to discuss the care needs of senior relatives.

Sometimes when family members realize their loved one is having trouble with the activities of daily living, they immediately suggest a move into an assisted living or other senior care community. In some cases, this is the best choice. But most seniors want to stay in their own homes—and in-home care can be a great way to support that choice.

If you are worried that living independently is becoming too great a challenge for your loved one, but he or she prefers to stay at home, senior home care services can provide security and peace of mind when you can't be there yourself.

You can arrange for a qualified home care agency to send a caregiver every day of the week, or occasionally as needed. The agency should begin with an assessment of your loved one's specific needs. Then, a carefully selected in-home caregiver can:

• Help with housekeeping, laundry and other household chores;
• Assist with personal care, such as bathing and toileting;
• Prepare meals, including special diets;
• Transport your loved one to the market, pharmacy, doctor’s appointments, or just "out and about";
• Help with medication reminders;
• Provide companionship and a sense of security;
• Enable your loved one to feel a sense of greater dignity by being able to remain in their own home; and,
• Ensure peace of mind by keeping family members—nearby or at a distance—advised about their loved one's well-being.

Whether a parent's decline is gradual, or the result of a sudden health event, this is an emotionally difficult time for most adult children. But family caregivers report that what helps the most is a sense of stepping up to the plate to "care for Mom, who once cared for me." An in-home caregiver can be the "missing link," taking over personal care tasks so that children and loved ones can spend their time together on things they enjoy—catching up on the year’s events, attending social events, enjoying the grandchildren…the kinds of activities that promote continued family unity and enhanced quality of life.

During the holidays and year-round, the peace of mind that comes from in-home care can be a gift for everyone.

For More Information

Read Caring Right at Home each month for information about the concerns of family caregivers, including ideas of the many ways in-home care supports the well-being of senior loved ones and family.